come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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