I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize