I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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