girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They took my balls.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
