Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
