I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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