but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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