Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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