Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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