Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
