do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
