Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
