I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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