I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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