He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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