Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
