dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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