That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she looked like the before picture.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
