She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
