What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
