trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
