Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
