D3 body, D1 cock
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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