im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
