You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This toilet bowl is my home.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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