worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my liver is dry heaving
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
