I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
