Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
