just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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