just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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