would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
