Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just want nice things and good sex
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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