Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just found puke in my bra..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
