btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
