ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
