Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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