Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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