dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
