I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
