It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
