this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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