she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
