Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
