its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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