found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
a search helicopter?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
