I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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