Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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