I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
