Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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