More tranny stories later!
I hate all girls vehemently.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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