i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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