I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
