you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
