2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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