Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
