Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
