Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
