omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
