You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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