She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
