he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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