I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
